White coat. Heels.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
