Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
