i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
