I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
