No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
