I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
