Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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