Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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