It's like a parade of train wrecks.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
