she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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