i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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