just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
