Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
