So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize