It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
