singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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