??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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