He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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