that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
