I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize