at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
