Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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