Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
