How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
