Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
