I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
