Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
