the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
