i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
