This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
