He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
