new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize