Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
