Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
