Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Text me some of your sweat
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
