i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
