It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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