nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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