Sponge bath it is.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
