put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize