His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
