Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
