Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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