I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
