I wish I could teleport
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
