why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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