You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize