You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize