What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
