Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up

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(732): View more from New Jersey

He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.

(1-662): View more from Mississippi

I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!

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(305): View more from Florida

When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"

(407): View more from Florida

I was feeling the aftermath of his penis

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(765): View more from Indiana

i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces

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