This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
