Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
