you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
