A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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