My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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