I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
