Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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