i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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