I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Having a random hookup so left but love u
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
