Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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