You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
