garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize