you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
