i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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